Well, the day is finally here! We will be welcoming our baby girl into the world tomorrow morning. I can hardly believe it. We had a pre op appointment this morning where they drew my blood and explained to us how everything would go. It all seems so surreal yet very familiar since I had a c section with Jackson as well. This time is quite different emotionally due to it being planned. I have experienced many different emotions over the last few days....
I'm very excited to become a family of four, and especially to be having a little girl! I cannot wait to see the look on Jackson's face as he meets his baby sister for the first time. I just know that it will be priceless. That first photo of the four of us will be something that I will cherish forever. Over the last few days when we have been out and about at the park, running errands, etc. whenever Jackson sees a baby he has been telling people, "I have a baby sister coming next week." At one point he said to me, "Mommy, I'm cited for my baby sister to come." He also tells me things he is going to do with her or show her. It is so incredibly sweet.
I'm also a little nervous and scared. Even though I've had a c section before, I think just knowing that I'm going to have to be "cut" open makes me anxious. Our last experience was great and I feel like I made a very quick recovery, so I hope this time proves to be the same. Parenting two children also makes me nervous. How am I going to do it? How will I find the patience and energy to care adequately for both? However, despite my fears I know it will all work out. We are so lucky to have such loving and supportive friends and family to help us out.
Lastly, I'm a bit sad. Dont get me wrong, I've always wanted two children and as far as I'm concerned having a boy and then a girl couldnt be a more perfect scenario. But, when I think of it not being just the three of us anymore it makes me sad. For three years we have focused all of our attention on our sweet little boy and tomorrow that will all change. I know it will be great and pretty soon none of us will even remember what it was like without Emily in our lives. I sometimes think how will I have enough love for both of them. Also, I dont want Jackson to every feel sad because we are giving her more attention than him. Of course, he will probably have some jealousy and act out to seek attention but I just want him to know that we love him with all of our hearts and just as much as her.
Over the past few weeks, and actually since the start of my summer break from work I have really tried to soak in all the special moments with Jackson. Toby has done the same. Over the past few months we have made many trips to the beach, pool, and mostly the park. Some of us as a family, sometimes just Toby and Jackson, and other times just Jackson and I. This morning Toby, Jackson and I all went to my pre op appointment together so we could show Jackson where he would be coming to meet his baby sister. He was such a good boy as he watched mommy get her blood drawn and talk to the nurse. After that while daddy was working, we just played around the house and then drew with some chalk (Jackson's latest obsession) on the neighboorhood basketball court. Jackson took a good nap before we headed out to a Christmas festival at a nearby park. There was an ice slide, Chistmas music, lots of beautfiul lights and decorations. Jackson even got to go on a horse drawn carriage ride after enjoying a chocolate ice cream cone. He had a lot fun and it was such a nice, simple activitiy for us to enjoy as a family. Afterwards we dropped him off at Bobby and Pa's to spend the night since we have to arrive at the hositpal by 6 a.m. tomorrow morning. He will stay with them while we are in the hospital which will be either 2 or 3 nights. I miss him already and cannot wait until they bring him to the hospital tomorrow to meet little Emily.
So enough of me spilling my emotions. Here are some pictures from this week...
Jackson climbing the ropes at the park
Decorating Christmas ornaments from Aunt Chris
Hanging the finished ornaments on the tree
Napping on the couch one afternoon
39 weeks. Toby is comparing my belly to the size of a quarter.
Our last photo as a family of 3
Toby and Jackson in front of the big Christmas tree at the festival
Enjoying a chocolate ice cream cone with mommy
Coming soon...Emily Margaret Timmons!!!!!